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Joyful living

Fearless dying

Welcome!

If you’re looking for support around death and dying, I’m glad you’ve found me. My passion is to honour death and its place in life.

Honouring death is what gives meaning to my work at end-of-life, my writing, and my passing on of what I have learned.

I have lived over seven decades, and what an eventful, unravelling and fruitful time it has been!

A few years ago I realised I had been ‘dying’ my way through life, meaning that life has brought me many opportunities to release, bring to an end, and surrender. . . and I have watched myself become more fluid and joyful as a result.

In parallel I have found myself increasingly drawn to supporting people at the end of life, a time I experience as grace-filled and profound.

I feel honoured to work in this field, and I bring my whole self to it.

Living joyfully and dying fearlessly have become my aims and passions

Life’s final journey can bring many challenges for one who is facing death, and for those around them. Into this space I offer my learning and experience, and a calm and unafraid presence.

I have walked alongside people on many a rough journey. Perhaps you would like some company on yours.

Offerings

Accompanying people who are dying

Offering support as you walk towards death

Natural death care and DIY funerals

Bringing death back to home and community

Sharing
my learning

Exploring end-of-life matters

Accompanying people who are dying

Would you like company & support as you walk towards death?

Dying can be a very difficult time. Sadness and fear may sit alongside pain, deep tiredness and not knowing how to connect and communicate with those around you. I can quietly hear, hold and honour all of it.

My experience around death has also shown me that a larger space exists, a deep and sacred place where one can access the gifts of dying – an expanded sense of self, more openness to others,  inner peace, even joy.

My desire is to help facilitate a natural unfolding and enable you to transition with dignity, calmness and simplicity. This may involve our working together on a variety of practical, emotional and spiritual matters. I am here to listen deeply and without judgement to whatever comes up, bringing warmth and wisdom, patience and understanding.

Whether you are in a situation of knowing that your death is not far off, or have a loved one who is dying, having someone who is at ease with death accompany you through the process can make a huge difference to your experience of dying. I am trained as a death doula and soul midwife.

Be in touch to arrange an introductory chat.

Pricing:  1hr session $80-$100 depending on ability to pay. (Please speak with me if scheduled payments would be helpful)

We can meet in person or on Skype or Zoom.

Kind words

“When my brother-in-law became very fragile… it was wonderful to observe how Margaret coped with such gentleness, but great strength and understanding of what was required. Her skill and compassion enabled a very strong-minded old gentleman, with high ideals, but no religious attachment, to end his life comfortably and at peace.”

Bibi

“Those hours we sat together, Margaret, not saying much, just being with E. were very special to me. If you hadn’t been there those times would have been very different. That brought me comfort.”

Bob R.

“Margaret has a deep personal trust in the process of living and dying. She respects the dying person’s needs, and is led by them for timing and intervention. Her blend of practical sense, objectivity, caring, calm presence, and humour, smooth the process for all concerned.”

Joanna

Natural death care and DIY funerals

A wonderful trend is occurring! People are wanting to reclaim death and bring it back to home and community.

But how to go about it?

First, it is safe and legal to be with your own dead! With a bit of assistance you can most often take care of your dear one’s body at home while you make plans and preparations to lay them to rest. It may become one of the most precious things you do for them, and for yourself. And the more involved we are through this period, the more readily the fact of the death can be absorbed, and the integration of the loss begins to occur.

Family-directed or DIY funerals are a rich experience. There is a lot to arrange, but with the help and support of someone who knows the ropes, it is very fulfilling.

I have training and experience across the spectrum from before death to after the funeral, including as a funeral celebrant. A process unfolds as the family and/or friends and I work closely together to create a unique and memorable ceremony – a time to grieve with others as well as to celebrate.

Whatever the circumstances of the death, a funeral can be positive and healing. I have a particular passion for helping to create ceremonies for “difficult” people and circumstances.

I’m very happy to answer queries or discuss your situation by telephone or email, without obligation.

Pricing:
For on-the-ground assistance with natural death care, forms and legalities, procuring a coffin, and all matters relating to the funeral and burial or cremation $500-$720 per day, depending on ability to pay. (Please speak with me if scheduled payments would be helpful.)

I also offer consultation at $80-$100 per hour, depending on ability to pay.

I serve Motueka and environs.

Kind words

“When my wife died we didn’t use a funeral director. I wanted to “keep it in the family” and Margaret helped make this possible. I knew I wanted to have my wife’s body at home, and had a room ready to bring her home to. It just felt like the right thing to do. Having Margaret alongside me and the family was very helpful and made it all quite effortless really . I felt very comforted and happy, even, that we were giving Ellen the best possible farewell. I have come out the other side of my wife’s death, funeral and natural burial feeling justifiably proud. We did whatever we could to take good care of her, and to give her a farewell that was perfectly fitting.”

Bob Roborgh

“Within the last year I have attended two funerals where Margaret was the celebrant. Both times I was touched by her gentle presence and skillful facilitation. She has a gift to bring both respect and authenticity, celebration and mourning, into the sacred space where a loved one is farewelled. I’m grateful that she is in our community, where she offers her skills at such an reasonable rate.”

Irma Jager

“Margaret has an affinity for people’s end-of-life journey. It does not frighten or intimidate her. She also has a wonderful sense for the flow of a funeral and how poignant such occasions are for family and friends. We were fortunate that her skills in this regard presented themselves at just the time when my wife’s mother had died and we were putting together a memorial service for her.”

M C (Motueka)

Sharing my learning

I love how Kahlil Gibran describes teaching. He says, “No man can reveal to you aught but that which already lies half asleep in the dawning of your knowledge”.
When I work with people who choose to explore end-of-life matters, I find this to be very true.

Being With Dying – a group exploration and learning (weekend workshop or weekly series)

Small group learning and sharing of experiences in relation to being with people who are dying, using as a starting place the stories in my book, Soul Midwife’s Journal – stories of honouring death.

What makes for a satisfying funeral? (one-day workshop)

We explore why some funerals are deeply satisfying and others are not. Understanding the process of ceremony creation is crucial here, so that we have a framework in which to represent in a unique and meaningful way the one whose life we are commemorating. An interactive and informative workshop.

Speaking engagements

From my passion for how we engage with death and end-of-life matters, I offer informative talks for organisations and groups.

Please be in touch for more information and pricing, and to discuss how we might tailor a talk to the needs of your group.

Kind words

“The ‘Being with Dying” series with Margaret was a simple but potent process. It allowed me to pause with others and consider many different aspects of the physical and spiritual dying process that I hadn’t thought about previously. It helped me trust that something wise in me, or through me, will know what to do and say as my mother journeys through dementia. I feel more relaxed about her dying process now. Margaret has the most powerfully gentle presence that I feel so safe to be my true self around. I highly recommend this series to anyone who feels the pull to learn more about dying.”

Penelope Brown, Motueka

“The change I noticed from the beginning to the end of the day was a lightness – the heavy, sad element had shifted. So, though grief is inevitably still part of death and funerals, there is a lightness about it – more humour and simplicity. Now I’m keen to make my funeral box, to gather poems, pictures, ideas, and to knit a shroud to be wrapped in.”

Sheila

“Margaret’s curiosity shines through her eyes and smile. I am touched by her ways of bringing clarity with kindness flavours.
Margaret carries the beauty in her vulnerability when she shares her stories, the poems, the experiences and her learnings. I am honoured to have shared space and time in this topic of death with Margaret, It has sparkle more life in me.”

Teresa Araújo

“Exploring dying and death via the personal stories Margaret offers through her book gave a rich starting point for our weekly discussions. These blossomed into deep sharing of participants’ own life experiences, both as contribution and to open to and receive support from others. I love Margaret’s gentle and clear way, not so much a teacher-student relationship, but rather a respectful space of mutual participation.”

Vikki

“The workshop helped open up the whole topic for me in a way that makes me feel totally comfortable talking with others about death, dying and funerals. It also showed me the incredible choices we have in celebrating the end of one’s physical life.”

Jen

“Margaret is very professional and dedicated; she is totally reliable and takes the time to find out exactly what your requirements are before the event. She is very personable and genuinely creates a reaction of interest in those listening.”

David Williams, Head of Goldsmith Management Centre, Letchworth, UK

Interviews

The Death Project Dialogue: “Episode 113 – Soul Midwifery”

An Interview with Margaret about her experience and work with Death and Dying.

Interview with Mona Naidoo: “Riding the waves of change”

An Interview with Margaret about Change and death – ‘little’ deaths and ‘big’ death.

Written by NZ Book Lovers: “The Soul Midwife's Journal”

An Interview with Margaret about the inspiration for her book.

Publications

Please be in touch to arrange purchase. Prices are in NZD.

Soul Midwife's Journal

Stories of honouring death

If you have nursed or accompanied someone into death I imagine you will find resonance and remembering in these stories.

If you have not yet had the privilege of being so close to the mystery and gritty reality of death, the stories of Uncle Bob, Margaret, Helen and others will take you there.

“I felt I was ‘there’, experiencing the myriad emotions that accompany the death and dying journey. . .”
Rev Michele Cherry – Interfaith/Interspiritual Minister

“This book is a gem. Stories of life and death told in a voice that is compassionate and gentle, they shine light into the sometimes-dark recesses of dying and death.”
Professor Rod MacLeod MNZM, palliative care specialist

“Her stories lead us to an understanding of death as a grace-filled passage to be embraced and revered rather than feared.”
Sue Halliwell, Celebrant

Available in: Book ($20) – eBook ($10) – eBook for Kindle ($10)

Hello, Little Death

Welcoming 'dying' to allow a fuller life.

This book is for anyone who wants to find more joy in living – and face living with less fear. It explores those times when life does not deliver what we hope for.

Little deaths come in all sizes – from small and seemingly insignificant disturbances such as rain on your gardening day, to the end of a relationship or the death of a family member. They encompass any loss or challenge short of your ‘big’ death.

“What an engaging book!. Beautifully written, and courageously illustrated with personal examples, it has easy-to-read sections together with simple practices. It is a clear and coherent guide to working with the challenges that arise in daily life – an enormously important book in these times.”
Sue Robertson – therapist (UK)

“I can feel the invitations working through me and this is wonderfully transformative. Thank you for providing the world with such an insightful book.”
Nicola C-J

Available in: Book ($30) – eBook ($10) – eBook for Kindle ($10)

When Death Comes Close

Poems written and read by Margie McCallum

Written from the poet’s experience of death and dying, and conducting funerals, these poems reflect an underlying acceptance of death as part of the cycle of life, to be welcomed in its time rather than feared.

“These are poems that bridge earth and spirit. Luminous and gentle, they both soften loss and honour the strength of its place within our lives.”
Rose Flint, poet (UK)

“Thank you for your CD. I curled up on my sofa and just listened – it was very moving but at the same time very comforting. I didn’t feel so alone or afraid, just very peaceful.”
Jeanie, whose father had recently died

“What a heart and guiding light comes through your words. And every detail is a visual delight. I began to read the poems and by the end of the second I was breathless. I was overwhelmed by the truth, compassion and dignity at the heart of your words.”
Cath Adele (Canada)

Available in: CD + booklet ($20) – MP3 ($10)

Do be in touch and we’ll set up a time.

e. margaret [at] margaretmccallum.com